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Where Are All Your Parents’ Important Documents?
Written by OurParents Staff
about the author
18 minute readLast updated March 29, 2023
In a crisis, the last thing you want is to be scrambling to find your parents’ important medical, legal, or financial documents. Ensuring they have the right preparations in place and designating a central location to store this information is a vital step in ensuring their future needs are met and minimizing stress for the whole family.
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Why planning ahead for elder care is so important
One of the biggest questions middle-aged adults have for their senior parents is, “Where are all your important documents?” That’s because helping a parent through a health crisis without them can be frustrating or even downright impossible. Planning a funeral without knowing what a parent would have wanted can be an exercise in self-doubt. Serving as executor of a disorganized estate can require countless hours of work. When people think of advance directives and powers of attorney, they often think about high-profile cases where families fight over medical or financial decisions. There are, however, more common, less dramatic reasons to help your parents get their legal ducks in a row. For instance, if your widowed mom is hospitalized after a fall and then spends several weeks at a senior rehabilitation center, who will pay her insurance premiums, rent, and utility bills during that time? Do you know who to pay? Whose money will you use? If you can’t access your mom’s accounts and don’t have enough money to cover her expenses plus your own, she could come home to late fees, turned-off utilities, and added stress when she should be recuperating. Planning ahead can help your family avoid this kind of situation and ensure that your parents get the care they want and need. Unfortunately, many seniors prefer to avoid thinking about long-term care and end-of-life planning. If your mom and dad fall into this category, point out that these preparations can help you take care of them by keeping their bills paid and their home and pets cared for if they’re ever too ill to do those things for themselves. You can also lead by example and get your own paperwork together while helping your folks with theirs.
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Must-have paperwork for seniors and their family caregivers
Creating Advance Directives and Powers of Attorney
The exact names and formats of these documents vary from state to state. You can use the American Bar Association’s free advance directive form (valid in all states except Indiana, Ohio, Texas, Vermont and Wisconsin) or follow their links to your state’s forms. In general, these are forms you can print and sign on in front of a notary public and/or witnesses. If you have any questions, it’s a good idea to talk to your loved one’s attorney.Where to Keep Advance Directives
Where should your folks keep their advance directives and power of attorney forms once they’re notarized and signed? The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid recommend that you keep your original advance directive where you can easily find it— a clearly marked file at home, for example. Other copies should go to:- Any hospital where your parents are treated
- You and other trusted family members and friends
- Your parents’ physicians
- Your parents’ power of attorney
- Your parents’ senior living community
Where to Keep Power of Attorney Documents and Related Information
As for your parents’ power of attorney form, they should keep the original in the same spot as their original advance directive and give copies to the person they’ve chosen to act on their behalf if needed, as well as to their attorney, bank and doctor. If a POA needs to be revoked at any point, it is also essential to be able to locate the documents. If you’re the person your folks have appointed, keep a digital copy of the POA on your phone so you’ll have it with you if you need to use it on short notice.- Auto loan or lease information
- Bank accounts
- Credit card accounts
- Insurance policies
- Leases (apartment, storage units, etc.)
- Mortgage accounts
- Pet care information, especially diet, medication, vet checks
- Tax information
- Utilities
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Your Parents’ Service Providers and Their Information
It would also be helpful for your parents to introduce you to the service professionals they work now, so you’ll already have at least a passing relationship with them if you ever have to take responsibility for your folks’ day-to-day responsibilities and records. This isn’t always possible, but at the very least, try to make time — with your parents present — to meet their primary care physician and their attorney — the two people you’re most likely to need to talk to if there’s an emergency with your parents.- Accountant
- Attorney
- Banker
- Caregivers, if they use a paid service
- Clergy
- Doctors
- Financial advisor
- Insurance agent
- Landlord
- Pet sitter
- Veterinarian
Your Parents’ Memorial Planning Paperwork
Funerals and memorials help survivors process their loss by remembering and paying tribute to the person they loved. A well-planned memorial service or funeral can leave your family and your parents’ friends with comforting memories and help your family stay within a reasonable budget. A funeral that’s planned on the fly just after a loss, when you may be in deep grief and not thinking clearly, can be a source of emotional and financial regret later.What Memorial Planning Paperwork Will Your Parents Need?
You and your parents can use a funeral planning journal to record your parents’ wishes and to help you start conversations about what type of service they want, whether they prefer burial or cremation, what they’d like their obituary to say about their lives, and more. If your parents have pre-paid for a funeral service or burial plot, copies of those contracts should be kept with the planning journal.Where to Keep Your Parents’ Memorial Planning Paperwork
In her book, “You Only Die Once: Preparing for the End of Life with Grace and Gusto,” author and end-of-life planning expert Margie Jenkins recommends keeping all your parents’ memorial planning notes and documents in a “Going-Away Party” file, stored where you can get to it easily. Your parents may also want to give you and other family members copies so everyone is literally on the same page about their memorial or funeral plans ahead of time.Your Parents’ Estate Paperwork
Movies and TV shows make settling an estate look simple and dramatic: the executor reads the will, inheritances and heirlooms are given out, and the family either moves on gracefully in their grief or descends into dramatic quarrels. The reality is that settling even a meticulously well-planned estate takes more time and involves more bureaucracy than anyone would ever want to watch on TV — a few months to a year or more, depending on the size and complexity of the estate. To make the process as simple as possible, here’s an overview of what your parents will need so their estate executive can settle their estate’s debts, pay the taxes, close their accounts, and distribute money and cherished items to their heirs.Your Parents’ Wills
At the very least, each of your parents will need an up-to-date will, written and signed in a way that meets their state’s legal requirements. Although there are plenty of basic will forms available online, a last will and testament is one area where experts strongly urge people to work with an attorney. In part, that’s to ensure that the will is valid. What happens if your parents die without wills, or with wills that are legally invalid? Their estate goes through probate court, with a court-appointed administrator making decisions about their money, property, and possessions. This process can take several months and cost a few hundred dollars.Other Estate-Related Documents
Margie Jenkins, the end-of-life planner, recommends gathering copies of important documents in one file drawer or box that family members can find easily when they need it. It’s also a good idea to create password-protected PDF copies of these documents so that your family can access and share them remotely. Digital copies can also prevent you from losing information in case of a fire or flood. The documents you or your parents’ estate executor will need include:- Bank account numbers and statements
- Birth, marriage, divorce, name change, and other legal records
- Bonds
- Cherished possessions list of items to be handed down to specific people
- Combinations or keys for home safes
- Contracts with service providers, gyms or clubs, professional clients, etc.
- Credit card account information
- Deeds to property and mortgage documents
- Household inventory list
- Insurance policy and Medicare information
- Investments
- Leases for rented property, including storage units
- Military service records
- Safe deposit box keys and access codes
- Social Security cards
- Tax records
- Titles to vehicles
- Utility information
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